Poor William's Almanack and Journal
Contact and Feedback
About William

Rightspeak Glossary

Privacy Statement

March 14, 2003

The All New Pentagon Follies of 2003


Deep in the bowels of the Pentagon (It really does have bowels - I saw them when I worked there) is apparently located an office whose sole function it is to think up whacko projects to embarrass the Defense establishment of my Country. I never dreamed that the Pentagon denizens needed any help with executing this function, as the Department of Defense has always, in my humble opinion, been adequately staffed to support its own public embarrassments. [Remember the Pentagon Papers, the $500 toilet seats, the $250 hammers, and Star Wars?]

This Pentagon office is said to be funded by DARPA, the same clever folks who gave the world the Internet, but I don't believe it. I would like to think they must be smarter than to do this. In any event, the office is run by a retired Admiral who looks like the Monopoly Guy, and who I believe is the same gent that convinced Ronald Reagan that there was an Evil Empire, and helped give us other triumphs of policy like Iran Contra and Star Wars. admiral
If I remember correctly he was convicted of lying to the U.S. Congress and avoided prison only on account of immunity, which seems to have been recommendation enough for the Bush administration to re-employ him in a capacity where he could work additional mischief. His more recent achievements are: a new form of electronic spying on our own US citizens, and an online futures market in death and disaster. These projects proved too wasteful and extreme, even for our elected representatives in the Congress. Does it sometimes seem to you that the inmates have been placed in charge of the Asylum?

Deep in the bowels of the Pentagon,
Near the fabled JCS Tank Wine Cellars,
Lies an office whose function it is anon,
Develop whacko projects to embarrass its dwellers.

One would surmise that Pentagon denizens
Needed no help with this important function,
The Department of Defense has adequate staffing
For its public embarrassments and infinite gaffing.

This Pentagon office funded by DARPA,
Seems to be run by the Monopoly Guy,
The same gent that convinced President Reagan
There's an Evil Empire giving us the Evil Eye.

His most recent achievements now include:
Electronic spying on citizens (more than rude).
An online futures market in death and disaster.
From this fertile mind they come faster and faster.

These projects were too wasteful and extreme,
Even for our Congress now 'twould seem.

US Capitol with flag flying

BACKto Archives Main Page


Almanack | Journal | Contact & Feedback | About William | Forum | Archives | Glossary | Privacy |


Content and graphics copyright ©2004, Will Henry.
HTML and design copyright ©2002, ABC Internet.
All rights reserved.
Last updated on May 14, 2004

../ABC Mini-logo