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Tuesday, March 30, 2004

[1867 - Secretary of State Seward agrees to purchase Alaska for seven million dollars]

The Solution To 9-11

Look my children and you shall see,
A saga of government bureaucracy.
Faced with a serious problem or threat,
Learn the ways no bureaucrat can forget.

Round up the study participants usual.
Form a bipartisan, blue ribbon, expert panel.
If they draft a report with findings so sad,
Take out the parts that make Saudis look bad.

Classify that; claim National Security issues.
Send out the spin-doctors to pass out tissues.
The public will believe all that we tell them,
Terrorists don't know where their funding comes from.

Top Secret

Asked to explain how they turned our surplus,
Into half trillion dollars in yearly budget deficits,
The President took credit, and answered you thus:
1. The cost of invading each sovereign country.
2. The stubbornly jobless economic recovery.
3. Tax cuts to reward the wealthy.
4. The new Department of Homeland Security.

Republicans promised us fiscal discipline.
They offered a government more constrained,
Less intrusive in the lives of each citizen.
Votes were tallied; enthusiasm waned.

The President built us a new bureaucracy
Called the Department of Homeland Security.
With a new cabinet post as a bonus point.
Another bureaucrat he could now anoint.

There now, don't you feel safer from all those nasty terrorists?

Weapon Fires

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